Should We Make Time For People Who Don't Make Time For Us?

What to do when it seems your friend is too busy for you.

What’s the difference between a busy friend and a bad friend?

What do we do when it seems our friends are too busy for us? First, try not to jump to conclusions; chances are they aren’t avoiding you on purpose. Second, don’t be too hard on your busy friends. Even in our closest relationships, we don’t always know what’s on someone’s plate, or how big their plate is. Here are a few things to keep in mind and options to try when it seems like your friend is too busy for you.

WHAT TO DO WHEN IT SEEMS YOUR FRIEND IS TOO BUSY FOR YOU

 

TRY TO BE UNDERSTANDING.

If your friend is busy often, try to understand they might have a lot going on. Whether it’s stress from work, a sick parent, a new medication, or just being a human, we’ve all experienced stressful moments in life that require more attention. If your friend is always busy, they might be going through a hard time. Don’t hold this against them. Let them know that you will be there when they do have time. Try to give your friend grace and don’t assume the worst. Some of us are simply not the best at returning calls or texts, we aren’t avoiding to talk to our friends and family, we’re just busy… and a little forgetful.

 

work around their schedule.

A good way to support your busy friend is to think about an activity in their schedule that you can offer to join them in. Ask them if there’s anything on their schedule that they’d like a friend to join them with. This might alleviate stress around planning and making time for each other. Join their workout class once in a while, go grocery shopping together or offer to bring them lunch to work one day. Taking the initiative might be exactly what your busy friend might need right now.

 

Be honest

The best way to mend an issue in a relationship is to talk about it. If you aren’t sure if your friend is actually busy or just not interested in you anymore, ask! Be honest, let them know that you miss them and how you’ve been feeling. Ask if everything is okay between you. Chances are, you and your friend will be able to have an open conversation and both of you will leave feeling more understood. If you suspect they aren’t being honest with you, express how you feel, but know that you don’t have to win anyone over. It’s okay to move on.

 

ARE THEY TRYING?

Ask yourself, are they trying? If your friend is trying to put in any effort at all, that means they still value you and your time spent together. They might get to an event late or have to leave a dinner early, but your friend is still putting in the time and effort to be with you. Try to be lenient with your busy friends and notice when they try.

 

how do you feel after being together?

Pay attention to what you leave feeling like after being with this person. Notice if you felt rushed, were they present and engaged? Did you enjoy your discussion? How is your body feeling? Are you tense? Relaxed? Giddy? Taking note of how your mind and body are effected after spending your time with someone can tell you a lot.

 

MOVE ON.

Some relationships won’t last forever. If it’s clear that your friend isn’t just going through a busy time and has no intention of making time for you, it's okay to move on. If this is the situation, try to get a second or third opinion from a friend or professional counselor. If you decide that moving on is the right thing to do, try to find comfort in the good times you shared and look forward to the memories you’ll make with new and existing friends.

 

For more info on how to be a good friend, watch below!

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